a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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