Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
