Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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