Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
