First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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