Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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