So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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