Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
