He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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