She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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