all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
