YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
