so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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