Got a toothbrush?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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