theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
