You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
