if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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