He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
