Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
