you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My dick has a subreddit
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
