I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
