god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
