walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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