She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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