Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
