I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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