Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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