I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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