she was so not down for the gang bang
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
