Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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