if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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