I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
