Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
