The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I love you. Go after that dick
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
