What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
