He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Even my vagina gasped.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
