We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
