can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
