I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
