I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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