Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
