Swine flu. Run for my life!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
A bitchslap is in order.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
