I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
