I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
