On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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