He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
