"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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