So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
