hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
