C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
