what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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